The empty bed

Dunno how many of you can relate it with me, but for some who gets so attached to people or things or place or name anything, for sure would get me right.

Its been exactly 24hrs since she left the room, and the it still didn’t really got sunk into my head that she left for good, it leaves me with the most hurtful thought that no matter how many days or weeks I wait she wont come back.

It isnt about many things we did together infact there is nothing great we did together but those tiny little things we shared, the time we had spend together, the care we had for each other, that’s wat matters. I had gone through this phase times back, with Jiby 1st, Ramya then, Rose & Shisa later n now her.. Bhawna!

People says time heals, its going to be okay, if shes gone another will come over but I say none can take up their space in our life. Some people stand remembered for a lifetime, missed always.. time heals,Fact!! but we ache along for a long.. I hate myself for being such an emotional person, so attached and I hate the fact that everytime this happens that thye have to leave or I have to and end up aching inside, beyond I can ever explain.

He says its going to be okay, last time also I had gone through it and had to leave Rose & Shisa n seen me crying my heart out and then got close to new roomy and this too would pass away and suggested me to shift Pg & in few I too will get married n be alright. I didn’t wanted him to say its okay, or I will get another one if this roomy is gone, n I even told him to get shut up, leaving him here me weep; but the attempt made to make me feel okay was sweet.

Yesterday I get home late as I can so I will be tired, ready to crash which helps me prevent from missing her presence in the room, asking me “Where were you?? You had dinner?” n I go hug and tell her “No mumma with a droopy face”

But she bowled me over with a sms saying “Go have dinner mumma..its late, am not with you so take care of urself and don’t sleep without food, miss yu.. cant stop my tears”, Here I was crying all day long, in office, to my collegues, to my friends n now this sms reached me with almost giving a cardiac arrest.
For the fact that I sooo get attached to people and just cant handle the fact that I have to be strong enough to face the time when I have to part, leaves me sooo sickened bcoz the pain is excruciating n so agonizing. I so adore her for being the strong person she is, not once she cried, not once I saw her eyes filled up, and the night I was packing for her holding onto my strength but broke down looking at one of those suitcases, she came up and hugged me n I kept weeping, but I was appalled on the fact that she managed to pacify me n strengthen me n told “don’t cry, its okay.. everything will be fine” and I hated that moment when she said all those bcoz I know shes as hurt as me but tells me “its okay”.. Its okay?? Going off forever, when I was in this pg just for her, travelling everyday 2 hrs to reach office, and its
okay? Its not Okay, its never going to be okay..

There wouldn’t be another you in my life ever, wouldn’t be another Jiby or Ramya, Rose or Shisa & whoever am going to get bonded with in my life ahead, There wouldn’t be another you, you take up a good space in my heart n remain as loved as I can keep it.

I see the empty bed of your’s and wish to remain the same but its already been taken over by shaheen, she wanted to shift to your bed n how am annoyed for that I myself dunno ( sorry shaheen if ur gonna
read this) .. I wish the empty bed to remain as its, you know why? Bcoz I will wait months together for you to to come back, The empty bed gives me hope of meeting you one day back in our room..

The plates n bowls u left are on purpose, i know.. and it hurts to see the 

"The empty bed …"